Preparing for Family Mediation: What You Actually Need to Know
Key Points
Mediation is about finding common ground, unlike court which is adversarial. Brainstorm find areas of potential agreement when preparing.
Focus on being ready and open to discussion.
Be clear on what is most important to you and where you can be flexible.
Understand the mediator’s role. They are neutral and not there to take sides.
Keep the process centered on your child’s needs in parenting matters. See our article a child’s best interests here.
Seek legal advice if needed, and request a support person early in the process.
Family Mediation, or Family Dispute Resolution (FDR), can feel a bit overwhelming at first. You might be wondering what to say, how the other parent will act, or whether you will be pushed into an agreement you are not comfortable with.
Here is the good news. A skilled Family Mediator will provide you with clear process, tips for preparation. On the day they will clarify the process and ask you clarifying questions to help you express you ideas. You do not need to have every detail sorted before you arrive. What matters most is that you come prepared mentally, emotionally, and practically so you can get the most out of the process.
Know What You Want but Be Ready to Listen
After the assessment appointment and before the Mediation session. write down your priorities, workable solutions, your non-negotiables, and where you are willing to compromise. It helps to think about what matters to the other parent too because progress often happens when you both find common ground. If you can go in with an open mind, you might discover solutions you had not thought of before.
Understand the Role of the Mediator
The mediator is not a judge and will not decide who is right or wrong. Their role is to keep the conversation safe, respectful, and focused on the issues while helping both of you explore workable options. Knowing this can take the pressure off and help you see them as a guide rather than an authority figure.
Stay Focused on the Kids
Family Mediation is designed to be child-focused, which means your child’s wellbeing, needs, and development come first. Sometimes this means adjusting your ideal outcome in favour of something that works better for your child’s situation. Keeping their best interests in mind can help you find agreements that are sustainable.
You Do Not Have to Do It Alone
You can seek legal advice before mediation so you know your options and feel confident in your decisions. You can also bring a support person if the all parties agree or request a different format for mediation if needed. Having the right support in place can help you feel more prepared and less stressed on the day.