Preparing for Family Mediation: What You Actually Need to Know
Key Points
Mediation is about finding common ground, unlike court which is adversarial. Brainstorm areas of potential agreement when preparing.
Focus on being ready and open to discussion.
Be clear on what is most important to you and where you can be flexible.
Understand the mediator’s role. Mediation is about you and the other party persuading and being persuaded, while the mediator’s role is simply to create the space and conditions for those discussions to take place.
Keep the process centered on your child’s needs in parenting matters.
Seek legal advice if needed, and request a support person early in the process.
Family Mediation, or Family Dispute Resolution (FDR), can feel a bit overwhelming at first. You might be wondering what to say, how the other parent will act, or whether you will be pushed into an agreement you are not comfortable with.
Here is the good news. A skilled Family Mediator will provide you with clear process, tips for preparation. On the day they will clarify the process and ask you clarifying questions to help you express you ideas. You do not need to have every detail sorted before you arrive. What matters most is that you come prepared mentally, emotionally, and practically so you can get the most out of the process.
Know What You Want but Be Ready to Listen
After the assessment appointment and before the Mediation session. write down your priorities, workable solutions, your non-negotiables, and where you are willing to compromise. It helps to think about what matters to the other parent too because progress often happens when you both find common ground. If you can go in with an open mind, you might discover solutions you had not thought of before.
Understand the Role of the Mediator
he mediator is not a judge and will not decide who is right or wrong. Their role is to keep the conversation safe, respectful, and focused on the issues while helping you explore workable options. While it’s natural to want to persuade the mediator, mediation isn’t about convincing them, it’s a neutral process designed to support conversations and help both of you find solutions that fit your circumstances.
Stay Focused on the Kids
Family Mediation is designed to be child-focused, which means your child’s wellbeing, needs, and development come first. Sometimes this means adjusting your ideal outcome in favour of something that works better for your child’s situation. Keeping their best interests in mind can help you find agreements that are sustainable.
What is in a child’s best interest will depend on a number of factors such as their age, health, family circumstances, and any special needs. As good guide, its worth being familiar the developmental needs of your children at their current age. Its not a perfect science, of course. But understanding what conditions support a child’s well being, can help parents understand which agreements might work best.
You Do Not Have to Do It Alone
You can seek legal advice before mediation so you know your options and feel confident in your decisions. You can also bring a support person if the all parties agree or request a different format for mediation if needed. Having the right support in place can help you feel more prepared and less stressed on the day.